Posted by wittgensteinz on May 3, 2011, at 18:47:29
In reply to Re: How do you speak your own voice? » Willful, posted by Annabelle Smith on May 3, 2011, at 13:39:04
Annabelle,
My sessions are also 45 minutes. It is quite short to get into things.
I have the feeling that in your situation you would benefit from twice weekly sessions if it were feasible. Is it an option for you/your T?
In the past I used to see my T twice sometimes thrice weekly - it helped with the continuity/connectedness. I now usually see him once weekly but it is a different stage of the therapy so the intensity isn't so essential anymore.
It's good that you share your posts with your T. It's also of course a bonus that he specialises in your diagnosis (although a diagnosis is just that - there is of course a lot more to Annabelle Smith than a list of diagnostic criteria) and his expertise in dealing with suicidality will hopefully mean that he is open to talking to you about it and helping you with those feelings.
My therapist always gets noticeably upset when the topic of suicidality comes up, which makes me avoid it. Being able to talk about it openly is important - there's nothing wrong with having the desire to act out in that way - as long as you articulate how you feel and don't actually act upon it - I know that's hard because I've been there in the past. It's important to do all you can when you don't feel that way to prevent it happening. It would be such a loss and a waste when there is so much potential for improvement and growth.
Btw, with regard to reading on BPD and outcomes - don't get too engrossed in prognosis studies. One problem is that these studies are largely based on clinical samples (i.e. people who are in inpatient facilities). Ambulant 'patients' like yourself may well have a very different more positive prognosis. Furthermore, a lot of studies are dated - treatment can be effective and while so-called personality disorders don't go away they may well change as a person ages - often with BPD people experience a decrease in symptoms and learn how to cope better with their problems over time. The critical phase is making it through this period and enabling yourself sufficient time in therapy to make progress. If you would harm yourself now, you might be taking away your chance of improvement (even a gesture is dangerous - what if it goes too far or goes wrong?).
Witti
poster:wittgensteinz
thread:984180
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110324/msgs/984459.html