Posted by emmanuel98 on November 17, 2010, at 19:46:19
In reply to an eternity, posted by Annabelle Smith on November 17, 2010, at 0:46:19
I felt that way about my T at the beginning, almost exactly as you've described it. I called him for trivial reasons then didn't answer when he called back so I could listen to his voicemails over and over and over. I counted the days between appointments as if I were a child awaiting Christmas morning. I talked to him in my head all the time. When I was alone, I would talk out loud, saying I love you, Dr. A. over and over and over again.
I think Kohut is right. Somehow, you lacked strong self-objects to mirror you and identfy with and now you are doing that with your T. This is actually normal in therapy for many people (not all). If your T is any good, he will understand this. But I also understand your feeling ashamed of this. It took me months of this before I could even broach it with my T and when I did, it was mostly because he interrogated me about it when I became distraught that he was going on vacation and called him up crying begging to see him before he left.
My T always said I worked very hard. It didn't feel like work, but being able to go through this, to work it through, to handle the shame and frustration, is hard work.
poster:emmanuel98
thread:970565
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20101115/msgs/970640.html