Posted by emilyp on April 2, 2010, at 17:50:19
In reply to Re: Dilemma in Therapy, posted by widget on April 2, 2010, at 15:54:47
Maybe another way to think about this is not how your therapist feels but how your husband might feel if he learned what you are seeking. You say that the two of you love each other yet you seem so intent on finding out whether someone else has feelings for you. What if the tables were turned and your husband was seeking such information from another woman? Would that hurt you or have an effect on your marriage?
I don't mean to be critical, but I think you should carefully consider how you are reacting to the situation. Whether it is love or transference, the point is that your therapist is not available. Your husband is. It does not mean that you cannot have a very meaningful and productive relationship with your therapist. But you also need to put it in its proper place. Many patients feel as you do; almost all get over it. Don't let your need to know have a negative impact on the relationship with your therapist or the relationship with your husband (or both). Also, just because certain individuals have allowed the patient - therapist relationship to progress to a point where such feelings are expressed does not make it right. Don't think simply because one person has learned of a therapist's feelings you are entitled to or should hear your therapist's thoughts.
poster:emilyp
thread:941668
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20100303/msgs/941841.html