Posted by Willful on April 2, 2010, at 15:31:00
In reply to Dilemma in Therapy, posted by widget on April 1, 2010, at 17:41:07
Hi. I was wondering if you've brought it up in the past.
The thing is, you didn't go into therapy because you were in love with him; so this isn't your core problem. You need help with whatever inspired you to start therapy.
Whether it's love or transference-- or whether there's any difference between them-- (and to be honest, you don't know what your therapist would be like on a day in/day out basis-- and no matter what lovely qualities he has, he undoubtedly has many annoying, disappointing, and even infuriating qualities)-- really isn't the issue.
The issue is that he won't act on them-- I would hope-- and to the extent that they're on your mind constantly, you undoubtedly have other issues underneath this-- which cause you to obsess about someone who's unavailable. And it's these issues that probably have a lot to do with why you sought therapy in the first place.
So it seems that you need help with whatever is underneath the focus on his love/non-love-- This really is not about your love, or his love-- because no matter what, you wouldn't stay in such an unfulfilling relationship, if there weren't some deeper problem that's keeping you there.
Even if he were in love with you and did have sex with you, those issues wouldn't be dealt with-- and that would be tragic.
Willful
poster:Willful
thread:941668
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20100303/msgs/941809.html