Posted by DAisym on February 24, 2009, at 0:25:00
In reply to Re: Worse than ever -- UPDATE » SLS, posted by TherapyGirl on February 23, 2009, at 20:22:20
OK - so I'm going to say something that stinks.
Sometimes being a good friend means letting your friends be bad friends. Take the high road, try to give her a lot of space and wait for her to come to her senses and miss you. My best guess is that your break down caused a cascade reaction in her and something snapped.
It is not your fault. But just as you couldn't help yourself, neither can she right now. So be kind to her, even though she wasn't kind to you.
I know she doesn't deserve this. But I believe it is the kindest thing you can do for yourself. Otherwise you are torturing yourself by trying to figure out how to convince her that she should still be your friend. She isn't hearing you nor is this a seemingly rational decision. This sounds like a very old, very deeply buried emotional response. You frightened her and now she has to rebuild herself before she can remember the depth of your friendship. Everything you learn about her right now is going to hurt you. Why are you walking her dog? Don't keep checking on the envelope, or better yet, if you can, take it back without her knowing where it went. Don't grovel, don't beg. You've apologized, explained and told her you love her. Now step back.
I know it hurts like hell and is so unfair. I've had this experience. Three years (yes, years) my friend came and apologized. She said, "it was never your fault and I'm sorry. I was stupid."
I'm sorry to say, we were never that close again. But nothing I would have said at that point would have mattered.I wish we lived close so would could close ranks and guard you from all this pain. But at least we are here and you aren't alone.
Hugs,
Daisy
poster:DAisym
thread:881247
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090214/msgs/882103.html