Posted by llurpsienoodle on November 7, 2008, at 13:35:47
And I laughed hysterically.
So, I started the session off right away by asking him "Why, in the past 6 weeks have you abruptly changed the subject to my sex life, 4 times?, when I wasn't really on that topic?"
He looked thoughtful and said that he hadn't realized that he was doing that. He joked that he needed to go to his analyst and figure out why, but that basically, he knew that it was something worth talking about, and knew that I would probably avoid it at all costs. Fair enough. I did get him thinking about his own process though. That was interesting...
Later in the session, I was telling him that I was concerned how I was going to hold up later this month when my h goes away for 20 days on business trip. He sounded confident that I'd be okay. Hmmm. That's not MY recollection of how h's previous absences have affected me. I started whining about how I'd have to do my own laundry and cook for only me, and empty the cats' litter box, all things which h does by himself, usually.
"Is emptying the litter box SO bad?" he asked.
"Well, I guess not, it takes a few minutes and I gag a few times, and then it's over with"
he started chuckling. "Hmm, kind of like sex?" And then he started laughing hysterically. I had to laugh too. He apologized several times for his sick sense of humor. I think that it was so appalling that it was farcical. There was no point in becoming indignant, since he was making fun of my litter-box attitude, not my sex attitude.
This reminded me of the time, many months ago, that he suggested that I carry a gun (was he joking???) because I feel unsafe walking alone at night. I reminded him that I was kind of suicidal. He stammered.
And then there was the time when he was joking about throwing oneself off the bridge. I actually hadn't considered this before, and thanked him sincerely for the idea. He got really embarrassed about that for a long time, and apologized for many months. I think this latest gaffe might be at least that extreme.
He brings out the witty in me, but unfortunately I seem to be bringing out the sick sense of humor in him. WTF?!? I would ask him to be more considerate, but then I would miss out on these valuable teasing opportunities. It's important to have reasons NOT to idealize my therapist. I appreciate his authenticity, but the litter-box joke was OUT of line. Again, I would be totally appalled, except that it cracked me up for several minutes.
Oh well, if you can't laugh about things, you could be crying....
-Ll
poster:llurpsienoodle
thread:861307
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081104/msgs/861307.html