Posted by twinleaf on November 9, 2008, at 10:11:24
In reply to Re: a thought... » twinleaf, posted by Dinah on November 8, 2008, at 23:41:22
Because my therapy is extremely psychoanalytic in nature, it utilizes transference and countertransference as important vehicles for understanding and change. Like everyone, I want my relationship with him to be a source of comfort and joyful intimacy. HE wants it to be that way, too. But the realities of my past relationships with my parents keep intruding. I will react to him, at times, as if he were my distant mother or punitive father. It's very uncomfortable when that happens, but he especially welcomes these times- he wants me to bring into the therapy hours the most painful events and feelings from my life and past. Then I have an opportunity to sort of pass them through his brain; when he slowly and carefully returns them to me, a new element of comfort and strength is there.
In order to have this work effectively, you do have to say EVERYTHING. That is extremely hard work, and there isn't any place for deciding not to say something because he might be offended or become defensive. I guess that's why analytic training takes so long- they spend many years in a personal psychoanalysis and about five or more years in post-graduate training (that's after they have finished an MD. PHD or DSW, and also after three or more years of psychiatric residency). They are all middle-aged by he time they get all this done!
My analyst is a great guy- very calm and steady, very smart and interesting, witty, warm and hopeful, I would love to sit there and just bathe in his delightful personality- if only those transferences didn't ruin everything!
poster:twinleaf
thread:861307
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081104/msgs/861742.html