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Re: I'm hurting so much right now Racer

Posted by seldomseen on March 4, 2008, at 14:42:50

In reply to Re: I'm hurting so much right now seldomseen, posted by Racer on March 4, 2008, at 10:57:18

"The past week or so, it's been much worse -- since my T made her modest proposal. Now I look at my life: I can't have children, my husband has no interest in sex with me, everything around me is a mess, I feel so overwhelmed by the sheer volume of problems I am somehow supposed to address, housework is overwhelming and I have no help with that, and there's no one to comfort me..."

Actually, everything in your life is exactly the same as it was before your T brought this up. Absolutely nothing changed except a couple of sentences spoken by your therapist. There is now no more urgency to address those things than there was a week ago.

I think you might be "kitchen sinking" - an odd way I certainly have of managing problems by putting MORE problems on top of them - throwing everything in but the kitchen sink. It's a wonderful method I've developed to not address the actual problem at all.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not minimizing what you feel - it WAS just a couple of sentences, but it resonated with you in a major way. In my opinion, THAT resonance is the heart of the issue here.

I wonder why her "modest proposal" set this off? Was it there all along and just needed a reason to get to the surface? Maybe she expressed a truth that you had been denying for sometime? Maybe she expressed a desire you had repressed, or gave you permission/showed you a way out?

I don't know Racer.

I guess it is an understatement to say that I think you should really talk to your therapist about how and why her proposal set off this spiral of these thoughts in your head.

When things are the most chaotic and seemingly the most hopeless, I have found those are the times for the most positive change. I would try to be patient with yourself and see where this leads.

Take care.

Seldom.

 

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