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Re: Crush on psychologist in training estrellita

Posted by Lonely on March 1, 2008, at 23:26:16

In reply to Re: Crush on psychologist in training, posted by estrellita on March 1, 2008, at 23:05:22

I think I know how you feel as I've been there too - and I'm not that young, either! I've found that the relationships end in heartbreak though due to normal life events such as the T moving or losing interest or not having enough money to continue or because boundaries were broken.

A few years ago I was at a lecture given by a local psychiatrist who is very interested in client & therapist relationships outside the theraputic aspects. (I don't think he was supporting it - it was just his interest) He mentioned a therapist he knew and the patient who "fell in love" with the therapist. They ultimately married and the wife ended up coming to him - the psychiatrist. It seems that after they were married all the husband (her former therapist) did was to lie in bed and scratch and pass gas and pay little attention to her. None of the attentiveness she had experienced in therapy.

That level of attentiveness is not real. It's something to be strived for in a marriage or committed relationship and quite possibly a spouse could learn some tips but no one can be that attentive all the time - in my humble opinion.

A friend tried to tell me recently that he thinks he is his T's favorite. Ok, maybe he is (this is NOT a romantic T-patient relationship) but I really doubt it. It's just the way the T works and yes for that period of time there's a lot of direct involvement. It's satisfying for a T to be liked and also to see a patient improve.

This series of postings pushed some buttons in me - I'm glad to see it and will use it to work on some of my own thoughts and feelings.

Thank you!




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