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Re: Crush on psychologist in training

Posted by estrellita on December 4, 2007, at 23:38:36

In reply to Re: Crush on psychologist in training beautymarked, posted by estrellita on November 30, 2007, at 15:01:23

Update: I decided to bite the bullet and tell the psychologist what was going on. I asked about switching therapists, and he suggested we discuss it at the next session. I couldn't imagine telling him that I have a crush on him in person, so I asked if I could send him a written explanation ahead of time. Did that, laid it all out, and he didn't respond until I asked (days later) if he'd read it. He responded and said he had, and that we're still on for the regular appointment time.

So that's it until my next session. This whole thing feels kind of cruel in a way - not anything the psychologist is doing, per se, but more the fact that he's not doing anything. Not that he necessarily should be, but it feels really strange to have been completely honest with him and then not hear a peep. I have no idea what kind of reaction he's going to have during session, so I am nervous. Things will turn out one way or another, as they always do, but until then my anxiety is elevated and I feel negatively toward him for not at least responding with a "thank you for sharing, let's discuss at session next time." Something.

Maybe it's due to his inexperience that he decided not responding to a heartfelt and honest admission was the best idea, or maybe he's maintaining the boundaries of the relationship in the best way he knows how. All I can really say for sure is that I feel horribly exposed, nervous about the next session, upset that he didn't bother to acknowledge what I wrote (until I asked), and mad/sad that he's off-limits to me other than as a therapist.

Stuff like this is part of why I think therapy's a huge joke. Sometimes it makes so much more sense to do what comes naturally for me - avoid, avoid, avoid.

Do I wish I hadn't said anything? No, because last week during session I was looking at him as he was writing something down, and kept thinking about what nice hair he has, and how I would love to...you see why I had to disclose the crush? I'm not paying money just to have the chance to go sit by him and think about touching his hair, etc. Hopefully getting it out into the open will turn out to have been a good decision. Right now, though, it's affecting the way I feel about him as a therapist, so maybe it was a mistake to say anything after all.


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poster:estrellita thread:797201
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071204/msgs/798853.html