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Re: New Question for anyone - trigger

Posted by rskontos on February 5, 2008, at 12:24:13

In reply to Re: New Question for anyone - trigger rskontos, posted by Daisym on February 4, 2008, at 22:17:39

Oh Daisym, thank you. you just explained it in a way I could not have begun to even think about yet. Last night another one came to me during a really bad time. I have them it seems all the night. Even sitting here typing on the computer. THe other thought I had is my mother took us kids with her to her affairs. And I am thinking now what did she do to us to make us not tell our father or anyone. She had to make us have a secret to terrible to tell to. Why else would kids not tell something. And it makes me mad. So today I sat down and tried to explore my mind to see this secret and I got close. But it is not ready to come out yet. I could feel most of the bad feelings and emotions, the fear. It is deep. To deep for me to reach just yet. But I saw the opening of the hurt in my mind. I think your T is right. Why would I put myself throught this. I have heard and seen memories that make me know sort of what has happened. I know or remember one of her men hurt us. Or at least me. I remember him beating me for seeing them when I should not have been looking. That is all I saw because the rest was too blurry. I see him coming at me twice in two different flashbacks.

I had a nightmare last night I woke my H up screaming but I dont remember the nightmare. I think it was the conclusion to a flashback that started during the night that my H interrupted and after I feel asleep it must have continued.

I am worthless today.

Thanks for the response and reply. I am printing all this off to take to T along with the dependence issue too. I will let you know how it goes.





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poster:rskontos thread:810610