Posted by DAisym on February 4, 2008, at 12:39:08
In reply to Re: New Question for anyone, posted by rskontos on February 4, 2008, at 8:17:18
I know this is going to sound weird but I actually regained some of my power by allowing myself to feel connected and emotionally-dependent on my therapist. His strength allowed me to leave an abusive marriage - it took a couple of years but I did it. I didn't realize how much accommodating I was doing in so many areas of my life until I shed the tough act and really looked at it in therapy. No wonder I was exhausted and suicidal! That doesn't mean changing this behavior is easy. I still fall back into taking care of things as a way to avoid confronting things. We can tell ourselves all kinds of things - my mantra was that I was keeping the peace.
I don't think you have to trade your personal power in order to allow a deep, sustaining connection. But because the fear of abandonment might get big, you do need to make yourself talk about the fears - even if you feel foolish and ratinally know that your therapist isn't going anywhere.
I think this is a great question to bring to therapy, btw. I bet the discussion will be fruitful.
poster:DAisym
thread:810610
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080126/msgs/810691.html