Posted by Honore on June 13, 2007, at 9:33:39
In reply to Re: *Trigger *questions Lots of mother triggers, posted by DAisym on June 13, 2007, at 1:09:01
I'm sorry that you've been through so many traumatic and frightening, and especially, extremely abusive experiences that have left you feeling so different and alone and tormented by memories.
I think, though, with Daisy, that when you put it as a question, what the question is. Is it that you are asking that only people who have had equally horrific abuse can understand, or help you feel less alone? Nathan_Arizona said that-- and you said that her story helped you finally feel less alone.
Maybe it's how you define aloneness-- or the type of understanding you're looking for. Could it be that everyone who never had those violent experiences can't be of any use to you? that their pain, or sense of aloneness and sense of badness and difference from others have no meaning for you-- and their presence really can't reach you-- because they didn't have violently abusive parents?
I would be very sad if that were true-- because I like you and have tried to reach out-- about the things that you do choose to share, even if my childhood was more overtly normal.
On one hand, it's hard to read the things you write about your childhood-- and I can't imagine what it must be like to go through them. Yet, I do know the feelings that you're left with-- some of them-- fear and deep loss of the solace and sense of being part of humanity that having good parents gives people, of having to struggle against difficulties that often seemed overwhelming, of failure and deprivation of being normal or, often, having a chance at the life I might want.
I hope you don't push away people like me, or say that only those whose childhoods were so violent and rough can be part of your world. For one thing, then I and others would lose a sense of connection that means something to us---- and also you might lose a connection that could give you support, even if it's a somewhat different support and quality of empathy from that that you feel from those who were more overtly abused.
Honore
poster:Honore
thread:762676
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070612/msgs/762884.html