Posted by Happyflower on June 12, 2007, at 14:26:32
Have your or your siblings been ever held at gunpoint from one of your parents?
Does anyone else know what that feels like to be really scared for ones life from someone who we should be able to trust more than anything in the world?
or as a teenager have their parent threaten to have the police rough up their boyfriend if he comes into the town?
Or if you tell what really goes on in this house, I will kill you myself?
I wonder what is worse the horrid physical abuse or the threat of being killed by your own parent.Have you even been thrown into the water at age 3, because that is the way my mom learned to swim. I went under 2 times before my dad rescued me. That is bad enough, but to hear the story being told and how funny it was that I was so dumb I couldn't even learn to swim. People are amazed that I don't know how to swim now. Deep water scares the hell out of me.
Having your pet rabbits killed and being forced to eat them for dinner as punishment since I didn't take care of them good enough. Then having to eat the puke because she said I did it on purpose. Has anyone ever been forced to eat their pets or their own vomit?
Overhearing the only reason I was born was to protect my dad from going to war.
As a child who was naturally bright, high IQ, etc., was bright enough to be dumb myself down. Dont' get those A's in school, don't want to have my mother jelous of my grades, becauase she became very evil when that happened. I used to hide my band metals so she wouldn't see them. I used to change the grades on my report card to show lower, until I found it was easier to just not do well.
When I got married , she was very jelous of my DH. Tried to get him to like her better than me. Tried so show how stupid I was. Luckley my DH knew the truth.
Now the story she is sprouting out to the relatives is that it is my DH who is keeping me from having a realationship with her and her grand kids. So even with my marriage problems, I think my DH would protect me from her or at least help. Getting divorse scares me because I am sure she would be more aggressive in coming around.
She has threaten to abduct my kids and raise them right, because I don't spank them, they are spoiled. I am glad I didn't do it that way, because they are great kids, I receive compliments all the time on how nice and well mannered they are. I am so proud of my kids. I can't imagine how a mother can be so cruel to their kids, I look at mine, and I see how much I really love them. That is what a mother is supposed to feel so I can see why when people talk about mothers abuse, it is so unbelieable.And to think I feel bad when I am behind in laundry and my kids tell me they have no clean socks. I am glad they can live a much better childhood than me.
I have had to fight so long in life, now with a failing marriage, it just feels so hard. Why can't I get a life break? Why is it so hard to be happy?
My T says I am an amazing person who survived some of the worse crap ( I haven't told most of it on babble, telling it would almost seem abusive to me for others to hear it) and am still thriving well in spite of it all. But when will it stop, I would rather be ordinary or boring with an easier life.
poster:Happyflower
thread:762676
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070612/msgs/762676.html