Posted by Nathan_Arizona on June 13, 2007, at 20:00:18
In reply to Re: *Trigger *questions Lots of mother triggers, posted by Honore on June 13, 2007, at 9:33:39
While I can't speak for HF, I certainly understand where she is coming from. If I may, I would like to share with you some of my experiences and desires on my way to recovery from a very violent childhood.
First, however, I would like to strongly state that ALL abuse of any form is egregious. In fact, I'm not sure there are even levels of abuse because, to me, that would imply some forms of abuse are "better" and some are "worse". I don't believe that.
Second, I am overwhemingly grateful that there are people on this planet that get to live free of abuse. It's like "Oh thank god there are people that DON'T know". It took me a long time to realize that EVERYONE didn't feel the way I did.
Third, I've thought a lot about why people who have experienced violence in their childhood DO feel a sense of relief when they meet others who have had a common experience.
It's really not about excluding others, or saying that others have nothing to contribute to my recovery - because clearly they do.It's more about NOT having to talk about it and not feeling so isolated by your past and just having a common experience.
However, I will stand by my statement that people who have not experienced extreme abuse simply do not have the capacity to understand what it is like. But here's the kicker - I personally am GLAD that they can't.
My therapist likened it to how war veterans continue to get together years after their war is over. It's not that they are excluding others, it is that when they are together they're included with each other.
I've never stormed the beaches of normandy or been on a battleship that was sinking and I wouldn't even presume to understand what they've been through or question the fact that they want to get together.
Sometimes, it's just nice to get together.
poster:Nathan_Arizona
thread:762676
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070612/msgs/763033.html