Posted by ElaineM on February 7, 2007, at 19:50:49
In reply to Re: sorry E (loooong), posted by widget on February 6, 2007, at 7:39:25
Thanks for writing Widget.
>>>>Believe me, it would be very tempting if my therapist treated me like your's does.
That's really honest of you. I don't know, I suppose I could feel differently if his character was different. If he had different actions I may have had different reactions. Or maybe even if he started being this way from the beginning. But the change from before and now was too big, and was too disturbing. It's hard for me to talk about this part. It started coming up for me around the fall, but it was (is?) upsetting that he seemed so neutral before (somewhat mentor-ish, or almost priest-like) -- and that's why I was sent to him. To experience a safe male (instead of only safe females). ANd then when it changed, when the connotations sank in, when he would speak as though I was his child one meeting, then switch to talking about the "other stuff" a few later, it was driving me crazy. Really. He didn't know he was doing that, but still. I was really unstabilized because of that. I've pushed it away since then, and try to forget, but it's still upsetting when my thoughts turn that way. But maybe it all would've been different if he'd been this way when I was a new patient. I don't think so, but I'll never know.
>>>>>I will admit to jealousy on my part but not in that I would take this from you.
I wouldn't wish it on anyone. But I know that alot of clients can feel frustrated by boundaries. [Like, I'd love to be able to hang out with my old (female) T. Not in a "mother" way, but maybe as a "cool aunt" way.] I know now that the concept of boundaries became a part of all the helping professions for a reason. It hurts when LadyT's emails to me are SO different, and SOOOO much shorter than T's now. But I understand why she has to be like that -- especially since I'm not even her client anymore. The sh*tty thing is, I didn't even notice her boundaries before (when I was with her). They are only glaring in relation.
>>>>>>It would be better for HIM if he worked on these feelings with another therapist, not with you.
He has been with one for a little while now - and just started talking about "us". I'm so relieved and grateful. I have high hopes. But I think the "worst" is over now.
I'm trying to be careful. THanks for the support. Stay strong yourself.
blove, El
poster:ElaineM
thread:729230
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070203/msgs/730939.html