Posted by ElaineM on February 3, 2007, at 20:25:28
In reply to Re: The Next big Step :-) = update, posted by caraher on February 3, 2007, at 16:44:34
>>>>>>Did you smile? Did you tell him you like them?
Yes (to both).
>>>>>Definitely do not push yourself to do something near or beyond your abilities and desires
I'll keep that in mind :) I just never want to be given a pass on doing something that would come naturally to others. I hate the idea of being babied. I hate gentle. I don't like softness. I'm even a bit creeped out by "kind". I understand what you're saying, but I'd like to have the same expectations as others - that's all. If that means asking more of myself, then it should still be fair game, in a way. I want to be normal :)
[I'll admit I do have an easier time being okay with strong, authoritative, even hostile reactions. It kinda makes me want to punish myself because he did something nice. It makes my self-hate just explode. I think I may feel that if I give something in return then that will make me closer to an equal instead. I've said it before, but I honestly wonder if I'm slightly masochistic. I don't know. I know I want to be respected and strong. And recipient of "nice" sometimes feels like it counters that - at least for me. But being treated like sh*t doesn't, somehow. Doesn't seem as dangerous.] I'm trying to learn to accept something nice as a plain old "good thing", but this has been confusing.
poster:ElaineM
thread:729230
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070203/msgs/729463.html