Posted by Daisym on November 6, 2006, at 23:36:14
In reply to Re: The Little Girl Inside - long again, posted by sunnydays on November 6, 2006, at 22:16:05
*******And he has told me so many times, and he really tries to get me to believe that. I can tell that he so wants me to believe that because he can feel how much I hurt myself by blaming myself, but I'm just not there yet. Or I think I'm not blaming myself when I say something, but it turns out I am in a more roundabout way. It's so hard.*********
It IS hard. Darn sneaky subconscious! I do the same thing, taking responsibility for the world. Today I cried that I had to have done SOMETHING to make all this happen. No matter how many times I hear that the parent must always be the one to keep it together, I can't help but try to find some reason. I guess we all need to feel like we have/had some control over our world.
My therapist "named" me today. "DAISY! This wasn't your fault. You were just a little girl." It always startles me when he uses my name like that. But it gets my attention. I wish I could hold on to his conviction for longer than the session.
I've talked to my therapist about being afraid of his sudden demise. I think last week it was "what if you get hit by a bus?" He always says, "I don't want that either. I'm being careful with me." :) Talk to your therapist about it. I know you feel sort of silly but it helps reduce the fear by shining a light on it.
poster:Daisym
thread:700352
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061026/msgs/701112.html