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Re: The Little Girl Inside - long » Daisym

Posted by bent on November 7, 2006, at 7:21:43

In reply to The Little Girl Inside - long, posted by Daisym on November 4, 2006, at 15:47:56

So many of your posts are helpful to me. This one included. I feel like sometimes you and I battle with similar things, only you are a little ahead of me, but it shows me that its ok to move forward, to be more honest with myself, about myself. Even when it can be dark and painful.

I know there is a girl/girls inside of me. I don’t like them. I am trying to learn. I like being able to say things happened to ‘them’, not me. They are so needy and I worry they will wear out my T and make her frustrated with me. I don’t talk to her about my younger parts. In fact it has only been in the last several months that I even mentioned them at all, after having several dreams where a maybe 8 year old me was talking to the adult me. That was freaky. I just wanted her to go away.

I think a younger part of me is feeling hurt or rejected by my T right now. I finally got up the nerve to tell her how badly I have wanted to just ask her if she cared about me. It was so hard and I stumbled over my words but she never answered me. She just seemed to over-analyze it. She said she could sit there and tell me that she cares for me but she’s concerned about why I have to ask now. Why after 4 years? I just needed a simple answer. Some reassurance. I didn’t know that was wrong. I am certain the younger parts of me are more concerned about her caring than the adult me. And my T is always encouraging me to be more open to the younger parts and to give them a chance. But then when she reacts like this to my question it just scares me.

I didn’t mean to get away from your post and talk about myself. I know this is hard. I think you are very brave. I know sometimes sharing this stuff is hard but I wanted you to know you are helping others too.




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