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Things will work out » alexandra_k

Posted by littleone on October 12, 2006, at 21:57:13

In reply to I messed up so bad, posted by alexandra_k on October 12, 2006, at 6:12:21

Hey alex,

I can hear all the shame and pain and regret in your post. I'm sorry you're feeling badly. You know what? I would still be more than happy, overjoyed, if we could sit in the flowers together.

This doesn't at all change what I think about you. You're still the same person. You still have the same wonderful qualities that I can see but that maybe you have some trouble seeing. You think you made a bad decision (even if the decision itself is lost to you in your lost time). Every single one of us makes bad decisions at times. It doesn't make us a bad person.

Try not to beat yourself up too badly. Doing that does not improve things for you, just makes things harder for you.

I know this may sound really strange and probably even inappropriate (I don't mean it to sound minimising), but I really do mean it so sincerely.

When I read your posts, I felt so proud of you.

1. You could see how your behaviour was linked to the situation with your t.
2. You could see the intimacy connections too.
3. You allowed yourself to feel safe in your T's office/area.
4. You were able to feel soothed in that area, close to your T.
5. You had a good positive experience with your T. She didn't let you down, discard you, treat you with disgust, etc (as you may have deeply secretly feared).

There are some really positive things in here alex.

There's a line I really like in Batman Begins that says:

"Why do we fall down? So that we can learn to pick ourselves up again."

It helps me remember that we *will* go backwards or fall down. But that we can learn ways to avoid those holes. Things *do* improve if we just keep on trying.


This is me holding my hand out to you to help you up again.

Things will work out alex. I think you did real good.




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