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Re: ... i got a referral, though... » Lindenblüte

Posted by alexandra_k on October 13, 2006, at 23:38:08

In reply to Re: ... i got a referral, though... » alexandra_k, posted by Lindenblüte on October 13, 2006, at 12:56:22

hey. yeah, i'm not all that sure what to make of the phone conversation. i guess she was trying to help. i felt a bit told off, but then she softened after i explained. oh well, i don't imagine i'll be talking to her again at any rate. i've been dx'd with did. not sure what to make of it at times... sometimes it seems to make the most sense of stuff that goes on for me, othertimes the stuff doesn't seem to happen and i almost convince myself that i was making up stories or something. hard to know. hard to know i guess. people think that dissociation lies along a continuum. not really an all or nothing thing. everyone dissociates to some extent. have you ever driven your car along a familiar route (or walked along a familiar route) and then once you arrive somewhere think 'how on earth did i get here?' because you weren't aware of the journey? that is a form of dissociation that everyone experiences. some people experience it more than others, though, i guess.

> I hope that you have a friend in real life that can keep you company on your hard days and make you laugh on your happy days.

i've been thinking about that... i confided in someone. someone who i trusted. i guess i'm not so good at figuring who is good to trust and who isn't. i trusted him... to keep his mouth shut and not tell everyone. that is the main problem. lots of lovely people here but they talk too much. this guy i trusted... he talked to me about whether i find intimacy hard and stuff and it seemed like he was being supportive and stuff... then he asked if i wanted to be intimate with him.

i shook my head.


i must have a 'target me' sign on my head. at the time... i felt bad. real bad. i was muttering stuff about how he is a good friend and i wouldn't want to upset that. basically... he thinks i'm a slut now. like he just needs to keep on at me in good humour and i'll come around.

i'm not safe.
i'm not safe.





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