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Re: b » Jost

Posted by Lindenblüte on October 10, 2006, at 22:56:08

In reply to Re: b, posted by Jost on October 10, 2006, at 20:34:20


I didn't like the time limited thing that my first T had going. it was really cramping my style. just knowing that it would be over made me want to keep things short and sweet. a neat little package tied up with string. addressed to never never land

but the ones that are there for longer. well. that's scary too. because it means that they may find out about you. all the parts of you.

my t found out something about me today. i'm crushed. i don't even know how crushed i am, because... because i can't allow myself to contemplate it.

you want them to back away. sometimes you can do that a bit. catch your breath. but don't forget that you need this connection to heal you. give them. take from them. let them borrow your pain. you can always take it back later if it's so precious to you.

if you're so horrible, how come I'm talking to you when I'm feeling so utterly, utterly low myself? it's because you would make yourself vulnerable and "b" and that's really special to me.

I'm about ready to give up on making myself vulnerable. I tried that a little today. hurts too damn bad. i can't take it back though. i didn't even let them see how much they hurt me. i just take it and absorb it and it ferments inside.

you ever see the youtube with the mentos and the diet coke?

one of these days someone's going to pop a mentos into me and that'll be the end of my days.


I'm an F





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