Posted by alexandra_k on October 5, 2006, at 20:48:34
In reply to Re: projective identification » alexandra_k, posted by gardenergirl on October 5, 2006, at 20:39:02
thank you gg.
i don't really feel ashamed that i need someones help. it is more that i feel ashamed that... i can't let her help me. i guess that is what it comes down to. yes, part of me wants to work, but i guess another part of me doesn't want to work, it is trying to defend me. and... the defensive part is pretty smart and does... exploit. i think that is the word. and i feel bad about that. because she is kind. and she is trying. and i feel ashamed that... that isn't enough. it might have been enough if it was earlier in life... but not now. it isn't enough now. and i feel ashamed about that.> What can help counter the intellectual piece is if you can get in a situation where you can just sort of sink into it. Submerge, surrender, and let go.
i can't. well... i guess i have done that at times... but it is because they called me on stuff. they broke through. and found something... i can't put away the stuff to get to that something by myself. i try, but my trying is typically trying rationally to understand. trying harder... is just more of the same really. though sometimes... i think i do find something there. i think i do. but it can be hard to be objective about oneself. so very hard...
i'll see how it goes with this other lady. it will just take... probably 5 sessions to know. to see...
i wish... i wasn't like this.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:689710
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060926/msgs/692219.html