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Re: I Need some help, but be gentle... » TherapyGirl

Posted by frida on September 25, 2006, at 21:24:30

In reply to Re: I Need some help, but be gentle... » daisym, posted by TherapyGirl on September 25, 2006, at 21:02:55

Dear Daisy,

Safest hugs to you- I am sorry you are feeling unsure and hurting...
I so understand this fear you feel :-(
My T has been a solid rock for me, she makes me feel found in the moment after I was hurt, and when things are not well for whatever reason I feel so terrified of going back to that horrible place without her.
I remember one period in which her mother was ill...She wasn't available to me, I felt scared, she kept reassuring me that it wasn't that she was upset with me, but I felt so unstable...and this situation was so serious that she had to cancel appointments, one time she even had to interrupt our session in the middle because she received a phonecall and had to leave to the hospital.

I don't know, it's so hard, but I know that you and your T will be Ok..When these things happen, I also tend to believe my T wants to get rid of me or that I am too much, and I'll lose her..or she's upset..but I try really hard to hang on to all she's said and done.. I've tested her so much. I know you too, and your T has proved he's trustworthy and always wants to work things through with you

I wish i knew what to say to you to make you feel you won't lose your T and he's there with you....I know how hard it is, that no matter what people say, you need to hear that something from him, something that will make it right...that will make you feel the connection..the warmth and safety.

We've been abandoned, betrayed and hurt as little children....we've taken our chances to trust again. it's really hard to trust...but i think you've built a very honest, and deep relationship with your T .... he'll find the way to make you feel reassured and safe again. I know.

I so understand your fears and feelings-

I also get desperate when things change or when I think about the possibility of losing my T or of she leaving me...
even thinking that she'll die one day makes me panic. She knows me and my dark stuff and secrets as no other and I trust her as no other person on earth.

Your T won't let you down. Try to hang on to everything he's given you so far..he has always tried to work things through with you..and he knows your heart..you've worked so hard and deeply together.

Sending you support and safety

Sorry if this doesn't help much
Frida


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