Posted by ElaineM on August 15, 2006, at 22:41:42
In reply to Re: Not so low :-) but with questions, posted by sunnydays on August 15, 2006, at 18:02:23
Thanks for the hugs Sunny.
>>>But a therapist should never ever ever want to be your friend outside their office. Their job is ... to help YOU get better
I realize that he is not just my therapist. He's maybe 40% T 60% friend -- I think. If I had a regular friend, in real life, come to me with a problem, it'd be really good for me to be able to help. To learn how to talk to someone like that. To not panic when someone else has a problem. To take part in a give and take, and not just a taketaketake. I would think that that was therapeutic. But I don't have a "real" life that way. So, I think that's why he's made it okay to combine the two with me. The only good feedback - the only feedback at all -- that I get in life is from him. The only interaction I get is with him -- so he's my only opportunity at having a relationship with someone.
>>>So for you to be helping him with his personal life just seems completely inappropriate to me.
I don't mind about the bluntness. I don't think he intended to have all the personal stuff burst out that day. But it did, and so we talk about it now. He deserves help with problems too. I asked him before if he would like me to go with him to see a T of his own, and he said No, That it wouldn't be looked upon kindly by others -- he's kind of respected here. I suppose that's why LadyT picked him. And it makes me feel better about demanding so much from him myself. He did say that he felt very naked after doing it, and he even apoligized a few times (especially with me doing so poorly lately). But it happened.
And nobody has ever talked to me seriously. As though I'd be a person who'd say something valuable back. No one has ever treated me as such an equal. Especially after being AN, people treat me like a child. Maybe I still am. I guess I am pretty immature and silly. It's hard to be the age of an adult, have the mind or social skills of a child, and be trapped in an aged and broken body.
I suppose I want you guys to tell me how to react better, and say better things. I'm completely unable to leave -- it's too impossible. It's too exhausting to add another seperate doc/specialist/T/dentist/whatever... to my routine. I mean, I just can't do it. So I need help learning how to cope better in the situation I'm in. I want to learn how to say things that will keep me in control, but not hurt him, and not piss him off. And I'd like to always be pretty nice.
Does that make me hate-able here then? If I can't leave him, or take one of his roles away?
Hasn't there ever been someone in the same situation who has come out happier? I want to be happy soon. Anyone? I feel so alone.
EL
poster:ElaineM
thread:676776
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060808/msgs/676914.html