Posted by madeline on July 22, 2006, at 8:38:59
In reply to Paying to have my heart professionally broken, posted by crushedout on July 21, 2006, at 10:53:23
I completely understand where you are right now. Personally, I think loving your therapist is absolutely normal and necessary.
I still see my love for therapist as a gift - it reminds me that no matter what happened to me, I am still able to feel love and respond to kindness.
However, it is important - and this is the hard part - to realize that the love you feel will never progress to the love that you want. And that is okay. Love can exist in the therapeutic space and it doesn't harm anyone, it doesn't screw everything up and it doesn't mean that you are stupid needy person. Your therapist cares for you, that I know and both your love and hers are now a part of therapy and that's alright.I got VERY mad at my therapist over the way I felt. I told him that there is no love in therapy and that it is all fake. He simply responded that there was no therapy without love.
I thought that I would never love outside of therapy too. But that is not true. I'm with a wonderful man right now and I know it is because of the love I felt in therapy. The key I found was to be open to love outside of therapy and being ready to tolerate the fear. I also know that if things don't work out with him, I still have the love of my therapist and we can work through it together.
Loving your therapist is sooo not a bad thing. Try using that love to brace you as you find love in the real world.
Worked for me.
Maddie
poster:madeline
thread:668954
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060721/msgs/669296.html