Posted by wishingstar on July 14, 2006, at 19:58:50
In reply to wanting to give up therapy... long, posted by wishingstar on July 12, 2006, at 16:23:04
I was feeling particularly good this afternoon on my way home from work and decided to do something good for myself.
I called Anne and asked for an appointment. Interestingly, she called back about 2 hours later (that was fast, when she doesnt call back when I'm upset for 2 days..) and we set an appointment for next Thursday. I'll have to leave work early and drive 2 hours to get there, but at least I can (hopefully) get some questions answered. I've realized that I'm destroying our relationship in my head, and if it needs to be destroyed, fine.. but if I want until I'm back in town (5 weeks or so) to talk to her, it'll probably be shattered beyond repair, perhaps unnecessairly. It;s better to deal with Anne and just figure it out. Can you tell I'm feeling oddly proactive right now?
I also talked to Laurie briefly today. I had to cancel next weeks appointment due to a scheduling problem. We worked that out, then she mentioned my other message (when I said she was pushing too hard the other night). She said "it's never manipulative to tell your therapist what you need" and that she was glad I told her. It felt really good to hear that.. but I still dont feel safe with her. Hopefully when I see her again in 2 weeks we can discuss it.
Honestly, without you all, I wouldnt have called Anne for that appointment. I wouldnt have trusted myself and my opinions enough, but hearing that you all agreed with me gave me the courage to do it. Thank you everyone for being here.