Posted by sleepygirl on July 12, 2006, at 22:02:57
In reply to wanting to give up therapy... long, posted by wishingstar on July 12, 2006, at 16:23:04
> Laurie asked why I get upset when Anne doesnt call. I said that it makes me feel like she doesnt care about me, and it makes me feel abandoned. Laurie basically told me that that is irrational - I'm just setting myself up to get hurt and that wanting her to care like that is "just part of the bpd", as is my not feeling cared about when she doesnt call. I disagree.. I think it's pretty normal. But maybe that's the bpd talking.
yeah...I think that's "just part of being human"
why does it *have* to be attached to a label?
it doesn't do much for dealing with the emotions in my opinion
You DO NOT strike me as someone who lacks a reasonable ability to be reflective. I think exploring why it upsets you might be more productive...like where that comes from as opposed to what it's called
I mean Geez! I hate how lousy you're feeling about this! and the "just" part of the "just part of bpd" phrase really feels kind of dismissive to me
again, I think we have to think about what constitutes "manipulative" - we hope to engender a lot of different reactions from other people, unconsciously or otherwise and it's not always considered a bad thing
and what is that crap about it not being "rational"? well yeah, feelings are very often not rational, that's why they wreak havoc in our lives!!
...but they are our lives, who we are, how we come to see and expect things from the world
oh yeah, I'm totally not objective here
but it comes from this....
I truly believe - and I don't believe much ;-)
that it is extremely difficult to mourn things and truly own and understand our feelings a bit unless we can truly feel accepted and cared about
I'm not saying that you can't decide consciously how you will respond to disappointment, or what your expectations might be, but the feelings might be there anyway...and it ain't wrong
end of rant