Posted by Daisym on April 4, 2006, at 15:30:04
In reply to Re: More explanation » Daisym, posted by All Done on April 4, 2006, at 12:21:02
Laurie,
You sound exactly like my therapist this morning. Except, he agreed that there are parts of this I have to face "alone." Although his definition and ine of "alone" are different. He thinks only I can bring out all these feelings and memories so that I can be supported and heard. But I have to face them first, in order to get them out.
He asked me if I was losing confidence that he could help me. He said in the softest voice, "I've helped you before." I almost missed it. I asked if he was reminding me, or himself. He said "both." Becaus the journey is hard and he feels sad for me. He asked if it was OK that he felt sad for me. "no" --- and yes. I told him I'd be OK and I will. He said, "I know sometimes you really aren't OK." This made the tears well up and I told him "fine, so you be OK enough for both of us."
He asked me if this was all too much, how hard is hard? I said it brought me to my knees last night in a way I didn't know existed. He had some suggestions but mostly reminded me that technology exists for a reason -- use it!
He said my spot on the couch is safe and mine for as long as I needed it. But this is where I railed at him -- no it isn't mine. It will be locked away from me next week. So I have to do this on my own, don't I?"
He said in his perfect therapist's voice, "we have to talk about my vacation. You can't keep pretending it isn't going to happen. We have to attend to our connection and make it OK for you while I'm gone." I told him he really would have to be magic for it to be OK for him to be gone. And then I left.
Guess what we'll be talking about tomorrow?
poster:Daisym
thread:628551
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060325/msgs/628763.html