Posted by Susan47 on December 25, 2005, at 15:56:34
In reply to Re: Wouldn't be surprised » Susan47, posted by Dinah on December 25, 2005, at 15:47:05
It's okay, Dinah, I'm sorry you're not feeling so great. What's the matter? What time is it there, around four-ish? You've had such a hellish life this last year, I wish I could do something to make it better for you.
Where are you having Christmas?
It's okay, we can talk about this when you're feeling better. My ex-T just threatened to go to the police if I kept calling his machine and leaving messages. And that made the issue that was making me call come forward in a hurry, it took me by surprise, but not really because in my heart I always knew I wasn't admitting the issue, which had to do with my sex and sexuality and all of that, and something happened in my sessions with him at the very beginning and he knows it or maybe he doesn't or won't admit it to himself or me or anybody else, but it completely fractured things because I'd already built a trust, albeit a very unwilling one. The whole thing was very psycho, and I believe I went through some personality changes and Dinah, I've been nuts for a long time now, but on the other hand right now I feel saner than ever, so maybe it was worth it?
I don't know.
I just don't know what to do, to make this a good thing, to make this all go away, and to still be me, which would be open and loving and kind and smart, and almost most of all, trusting. But if you have your own troubles which make you unable to understand right now, that's totally okay. Because you, Dinah, have been to hell and are coming back, yourself. :) (((Dinah)))