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Attachment

Posted by alexandra_k on August 18, 2005, at 18:44:14

Who wants to talk about attachment???

I have been reading about various attachment styles...

Lets see if I can remember...

Nope. Oh well...

I think my attachment to my mother was a little odd. I remember her as invasive, but I think there was more to it than that. She doesn't have a dx or anything (managed to avoid the mental health system) but my guess is that at the very least she is BPD with anxiety / depression. She had intense emotional states... And her interaction with me was driven from there. She would pull when she needed me, and push when she didn't.

Over time... I pulled away as hard as I could because all I knew was that she HURT me.

But to be fair... In memory... There were times where our moods were matched and those times we could get on fine.

I guess she started trying to induce those states in me.

My father said everything was fine until I started to develop a mind of my own. Preferences of my own.

I remember she used to insist on feeding me till I was well into school. Choosing my clothes for me the night before. Protest was pointless. :-(

Yukko.

I couldn't understand why why why she would act the way she did.

Because of her emotions.
I understand that now
:-(

I know they have done studies on attachment style. And personality styles of infants. What would be interesting would be personality styles of infants, personality styles of parents and how those two evolve over time...

I think they did stuff with rats where there were anxious mothers and secure mothers. Take a litter from a secure mother and give those to an anxious mother. More would be anxious... Take a litter from an anxious mother and give those to a secure mother. More would be secure.

Most anxious were those biologically and environmentally anxious.

Most secure were those biologically and environmentally secure.

My mother and I are too much alike
And that is the hardest thing in the world for me to admit :-(

 

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poster:alexandra_k thread:543620
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050813/msgs/543620.html