Posted by Dinah on May 12, 2005, at 17:41:57
In reply to Can I ask you all something? **trigger**, posted by pinkeye on May 12, 2005, at 17:04:21
Well, we mainly come from Western culture where achievement is prized as much for women as for men.
I don't think of myself as a woman at all. But I do consider myself a good enough person. Moreover I think that all people deserve basic common decency and respect merely because they *are* human. They don't have to earn the basics.
So it has never occurred to me to be with anyone who didn't treat me with respect. It is such a basic requirement that I don't even think about it. I also insist upon it for my son from my husband. More than lack of abuse, I also insist that he treat him with the respect he deserves, regardless of his age.
Actually, while my husband has never ever raised a hand to either of us, I don't think he meets my standards on the issue of respect. So I keep insisting that both of us be treated respectfully, but I don't always get that. It doesn't keep me from thinking I deserve it.
So I separate the two topics. Everyone deserves basic respect, especially from those who love them.
As a separate issue, I have decent self respect and reasonably accurate self esteem. I acknowledge that I am good at some things, and not so good at others. I know I'm smart, and that I'm not attractive. Like most people in the universe I'm a bit of good and a bit of bad.
But I'm not sure I can personally understand how important it is for you to be seen as a good "woman". I tend to see things in a gender neutral way.
poster:Dinah
thread:496916
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050504/msgs/496996.html