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Re: I don't know where else to post this, so..... Tabitha

Posted by Larry Hoover on April 5, 2005, at 17:58:54

In reply to Re: I don't know where else to post this, so..... Larry Hoover, posted by Tabitha on April 5, 2005, at 14:54:52

> I think they key to circumventing these episodes is probably connecting with the feelings that are driving the actions. Anger is probably the top level, but underneath it is usually hurt.

Yes, I long ago figured out that anger is a cloak I pull over hurt, embarassment, humiliation, whatever. Glad to have that validated.

> Lately we're working with this critical parent/child/adult stuff. I've learned that most of my 'triggered' feelings come from my own internal critic.

I appreciate the suggestion, but my mechanism must be different. It's like my inner child wants to grow up and be treated perfectly/equally/morally/ethically properly, all in an instant.....while I'm not so sure the little self-righteous bastaad is doing that in return. (I don't know where *I* go, when he's at the wheel. It's almost like lost time.) It's an act of defiance, a symbolic lifting of the oppression of my childhood. I never internalized the abuse. I was subdued by it. And remnants of his indignation burst up.

Or something like that.





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