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Re: I don't know where else to post this, so..... sunny10

Posted by Larry Hoover on April 6, 2005, at 10:39:25

In reply to Re: I don't know where else to post this, so....., posted by sunny10 on April 6, 2005, at 10:27:37

> guess we're all wondering what you consider the difference between "internalizing" and "subduing"... I think one involves the other to a large extent, Larry.

I knew what was happening to me was wrong. I did not agree. I knew it was unfair. I was simply overpowered. And I think my little boy has been waiting for a chance to speak, to be heard, to reject false attributions.

I've got an inner critic, no doubt about that. I've made mistakes, certainly, and it sometimes feels like those are being endlessly replayed in my head. I literally tell my inner critic to f*ck off. Occasionally, those words actually come out of my mouth. I remember once, in a mall, just before outburst....the parting of the crowds....heh.

Those are distinct, in me, the inner critic and the sense of being suppressed. I knew, I guess, even way back then, what was my mom's sh*t and what was my sh*t. What happened to me simply wasn't fair. I guess I had boundaries of some sort.





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