Posted by Dinah on February 1, 2005, at 9:39:31
In reply to Re: Sleeping » Dinah, posted by sunny10 on January 31, 2005, at 10:51:57
lol. I see myself as being not terribly assertive, but sooner or later I'm going to have to adjust my self-concept through sheer weight of evidence. :)
I'm very grateful though to feel like I can be that honest with him.
My work problems are pretty straightforward in one way at least. It's objectively a high stress job that generally people either thrive on or crash and burn early and leave. I didn't do either. My love of working with my Daddy sort of prevented the normal course of the job from flowing. But with my health problems, and brain chemistry, it's objectively a bad job for me. The stress and deadlines are bad for other people who have diabetes as well. (Part of my problems with my boss are due to his diabetes and the resulting mood changes that come from stress and sugar level on his side.) The necessary irregular work and sleep cycles are objectively bad for both my migraines and my brain chemistry, which is a tad bipolarish. Late nights provoke strong mood changes, and I think it's purely biological.
I don't have any illusions that I'll be happier elsewhere, perhaps even less happy because life changes are huge stressors for me and tend to provoke enormous flareups of my depression and/or anxiety disorders. I've never had another job. I am used to these people and don't consider dealing with them overly stressful the way getting to know people I haven't known since childhood would be. So changing jobs would also be bad for me.
Straightforward. But straightforward in both directions. :)
It astonishes me that my neurologist doesn't get the connection between overstimulation and sleep. Unless that's a normal part of narcolepsy too, which it doesn't seem to be. Maybe I'm not explaining myself well to him, especially since English isn't his first language. I tend to use idiosyncratic language patterns and that may be difficult for him especially. However, I'd have been unable to work at all the last few months without Provigil, so his beliefs are to my benefit. My psychiatrist wouldn't have prescribed Provigil to me in a million years.
poster:Dinah
thread:449151
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050129/msgs/450972.html