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Sleeping » antigua

Posted by Dinah on January 29, 2005, at 14:51:21

In reply to Re: He hadn't noticed » Dinah, posted by antigua on January 29, 2005, at 14:19:32

I think there may have been some testing in the subtext of what happened. I wasn't thinking it consciously. Consciously I just got mad and acted out. But subconsciously I may have been asking if he cared enough about me to mind if I quit, or if he'd be relieved and let it pass. I guess his not even noticing leaves that question unanswered. :) It makes particular sense that I was testing him within the context of the topic of the argument.

The sleeping thing. Well the neurologist thinks it's narcolepsy. I see it more as a very imperfect and poorly tuned circuit system. If this system registers that my arousal level and distress is too high, I blank out or fall asleep. Right now the switch seems to be sticking. It's flipping at lower and lower levels of arousal and failing to reset.

I figure (or maybe hope) that it's stress related and that eventually it'll start working more efficiently. Of course, I don't expect the stress to abate for months. And the more I sleep the longer it'll take for the stress to go away.

I don't know what to do about it though. Cutting down on carbohydrates didn't stop the problem, and neither did taking Provigil regularly.

It's a mighty powerful system. I wish I had it under my control. :)

Actually, in retrospect, falling asleep in session was sort of funny. I dozed off the way I do, and when I finally woke up, about five minutes later, I guess, he asked what I had been thinking about. He had mistaken it for being deep in thought!! When I told him what happened he said that he was flattered that I would feel comfortable enough with him to fall asleep. lol. I answered that I could sleep for free at home and could he please wake me up next time?

 

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