Posted by judy1 on January 31, 2005, at 12:27:06
In reply to Re: My fault I guess » Dinah, posted by mair on January 29, 2005, at 8:23:32
as someone who has been in a 'toxic' work environment and finally crashed and burned- I do understand how difficult it is to summon the courage to leave job#1 to go to job#2. I wish I could tell you I was able to do it, but honestly it wasn't until I broke down and it was done for me. I don't have any magic words to encourage you to improve your environment, but I would hope that you and Dinah never get to the point that I did. I've been reminded recently how very short life is with the loss of my brother, and how we need to allow ourselves to enjoy our time on earth. I can tell you that after my 'break' and leaving that awful, awful job- I felt like a huge weight was removed from me. did my depression leave? actually, yes- but not until I had severed all ties with my job. I was so traumatized that I left all my personal belongings there- photos, books, plants- I refused to answer the phone when my ex-boss called (and he was a good guy) and finally did get a package with some of my belongings. I am fortunate that I don't have to work, that I'm able to get by with social security and my husband's health benefits (medicare is okay in my state since you can get an HMO instead with prescription benefits) and that I get to spend my unreliable energy with my children. I have learned not to expect much from therps, when I have truly needed the support it was never enough from them and I now realize I was unrealistic in what they can provide. all this is a learning experience and one I have survived. I know that you and Dinah will survive too, and I hope that your journey will not be as traumatizing as mine was- but I do hope you can reach the peace I have found.
take care, judy