Posted by 64bowtie on August 7, 2004, at 17:01:59
In reply to Re: Oh » 64bowtie, posted by Aphrodite on August 7, 2004, at 16:03:46
> I find my childhood of abuse and neglect to be more than a "mere story."
<<< I don't challenge that at all. I honor your rights to your feelings, motives, and behaviors. That said, I point out that I used to, toooo. At that time my pain was overwhelming. When it dawned on me that I was having the same pains over and over again because the story I remembered didn't seem to change, I got curious as to why. Along the way, I became clear that I was being driven to re-enact the pain as some feeble attempt to change the results, but mostly I would suffer, in silence.
When I pictured what it was that I was going over and over was only a story about the painful incident, not the incident itself, I experimented by telling myself backwards, while adding and deleting pertinent facts randomly. Pretty soon the real story looked like some joke I was telling myself.
By accepting the nature of the memories that continued to high-jack my emotions, The pain immediately became a burden and was easily extinguished, probably forever.
I hope you can tell that "I been there, done that" and am not just talking through a hole in my hat. It was 15 to 20 years ago now, so I have many years reliving the success story instead of the pain story. I am asking you if you see continuing to be blackmailed by your past to be a good thing or a bad thing. It's OK by me for you to choose either way, your choice. Sorry if I sounded judgemental before.