Posted by DaisyM on May 1, 2004, at 22:30:18
In reply to Re: How I hate to ask for help! (Long, may trigger » DaisyM, posted by Aphrodite on May 1, 2004, at 20:48:49
Over the hump...hmmm, honestly no. I think I'm somewhere towards the middle of sorting out these old feelings and how they have effected me. Trouble is I have a very complicated life and I have to deal with present day stuff too. The way I seem to be working is that I will have a memory or dream, which I will bring into therapy. "Telling" is excruciatingly painful for me but my Therapist is good at helping me get out the details and dealing with the feelings. So I usually tell in one session and then we work on the feelings that the child felt and try to reframe things, in the next. But I can only do this a few weeks at a time. I move myself out of it and we go to other things. Since I get overwhelmed, I assume he does too. So we spend time on my need to take care of him and my fears about being abandoned.
It *is* hard to keep it together some days. We do lots of phone check ins when this happens. I have usually been able to work, though perhaps not at my best. Keeping busy is a way I cope, so he encourages that. It isn't unusual for Therapists to encourage your independence, because it is one of the things that keeps you together. For me, it was keeping me from the help I needed. As far as support systems, Babble has become a huge part of mine. I have a couple of people I can ask really personal questions of via email. I have another couple of friends in real life who know how complicated my life is and check in with me. Only one knows about the abuse.
As far as light at the end of the tunnel, I'm not sure I've reached the tunnel yet. I feel like I'm still at the toll booth paying my dues. I keep asking my Therapist how long this is going to take and he just says, it took you 42 years to get this way, we can't "just" undo it in a week. It will take as long as it does. He is good about adding in that he is in it for the long haul, not to worry! :)
I like the concept of asking the three seperate parts of you what they want. Even though I still find it weird to talk about myself in pieces, it does allow me to express somethings that would otherwise be kept in. And writing in different voices helps me too.
Try to catch us in Open sometime. Chatting is fun and very helpful. Or you can always email me @ BabbleDaisymm@aol.com.
poster:DaisyM
thread:342123
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040426/msgs/342343.html