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Re: How I hate to ask for help! (Long, may trigger » DaisyM

Posted by Aphrodite on May 1, 2004, at 20:48:49

In reply to Re: How I hate to ask for help! (Long, may trigger), posted by DaisyM on May 1, 2004, at 18:42:30

This is very sound advice. I only go near the painful subjects when he asks, and then I often ask to be let off the hook, and he does so. He respects my pace, but I think I do need to go there and not let him rescue me. Then, he would see the pain -- there would be no way to mistake it for the little "conflicts at work" problems I try to bring up to avoid the childhood stuff.

He has started something new by dividing me into three -- there is the authentic me, the wounded me, and the accomodating me. Accomodating Aphrodite says, "We can talk about whatever you think is best." So, he asks the others. The wounded Aphrodite wants comforting, the authentic Aphrodite wants action. But so far, they still don't speak up very well for themselves. Daisy, it kind of reminds me of your adult/child conflict. It sure does explain all those conflicting feelings, doesn't it?

I guess where we are different is that I get the impression that my therapist isn't going to encourage me to be dependent on him. Unlike the article you posted a week ago about the need for dependency, he seems to think my independence is a strength. (I know better.) Anyway, I am afraid to go to those dark places -- man, there are so many -- because if I dive deep, I won't know how to surface, and he won't be there to pull me out of the water. And I certainly don't have a support system in place being Miss Little Stoic all these years.

Still, your post has encouraged me to take the plunge. I am just so afraid of becoming so impaired that I cannot function for my family and my coworkers.

Daisy, thank you. I hope the next visit goes well for you. Do you think you're over the hump now that you are more forthcoming? Is there light at the end of the tunnel?


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