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Re: A little better deirdrehbrt

Posted by fallsfall on March 19, 2004, at 13:53:31

In reply to Re: A little better, posted by deirdrehbrt on March 18, 2004, at 18:40:07

It does seem interesting that it is not so much that I am afraid of expressing anger - but I am afraid of FEELING anger. Maybe if I start feeling it, then I'll have to deal with the expressing it part. It almost seems like the fear is about *being* angry - that *being* angry is a "bad" thing.

But I think there is a component of being afraid of how I will act on the anger - usually I make very clear, pointed statements that don't invite discussion. For example, I complained that there was a session in which I wanted to discuss a particular thing, and he insisted on talking about something else. Clearly he remembers it differently because he said "I have never told you that you can't talk about a particular subject". My reply (showing my anger) "You certainly did. The session when I was so hysterical was because I wanted to talk about A, and you would only talk about B". But immediately following that angry response, I slipped back to my terror. The anger comes out when I am very confident of what I am saying, so maybe the terror is there when I'm less sure (I really hate being uncertain).

It is all very confusing to me. I expect that eventually he will help me sort it out.




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