Posted by crushedout on February 7, 2004, at 18:35:33
In reply to I Think Life's Full of Transference, posted by Rigby on February 7, 2004, at 18:16:24
The problem with this is she will of course say we can't and I won't believe her. Because she can't really know for sure. That's the beauty of life. Anything can happen. So, actually, I have to give her more credit: she probably will admit that anything's possible. And I will still have this hope. (So I guess that means it's safe for me to bring it up, actually.) And I really don't think that's a bad thing. I think this hope is a really good thing, as long as I keep it in perspective. Maybe she can help me to do that.> I think actually by confronting the "can we ever be lovers" question is a good thing. Because the sooner you know it's out of the question, the sooner you will have to re-focus the therapy onto you--kicking, screaming, whaling, totally ticked off you can't get what you want--but it'll be back on *you.* Whether it be the pain of disappointment or other pain in your life but in either case, the focus goes back to you and not to her and how you can "get" her. This is assuming your therapist is skilled and has some backbone.
poster:crushedout
thread:309823
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040206/msgs/310679.html