Posted by crushedout on February 7, 2004, at 10:38:54
In reply to Re: I got my wish » crushedout, posted by gardenergirl on February 6, 2004, at 20:39:21
I'm very aware that I idealize her in many ways, but isn't also possible that she's my ideal woman, just in reality? I think that's at least partially the case. She has many of the qualities I've always looked for in a lover.It just makes me feel bad when it all gets chalked up to transference.
> > I'm thrilled because she's my ideal woman, and she's so cool, and beautiful, and successful, and older, and she's attracted to ME. I don't take that for granted. It's very exciting.
>
> Crushed,
> I admire you for dealing with something so intense and for so long! I don't have much to add because it looks like you are getting a variety of opinions. It's just that the above line struck a chord in me. If you are into reading about therapy, you might want to read some of Kohut's works, particularly about idealizing transference. This is a phenonenon that makes perfect sense based on developmental needs. It may give you additional insight into your feelings.
>
> I wish you the best of luck in dealing with this. I'm sure that whatever direction your therapy goes, it will continue to take courage and honesty, as all therapy does.
>
> Take care,
>
> gg
poster:crushedout
thread:309823
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040206/msgs/310461.html