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Re: Research » fallsfall

Posted by Penny on February 4, 2004, at 8:35:22

In reply to Research, posted by fallsfall on February 3, 2004, at 20:58:29

Falls,

I too am a researcher. In fact, it's become almost a running joke of sorts with my therapist - I'll be telling her an anecdote about something and say, "so I started reading as much as I could about the subject" and she'll just nod knowingly. Or say, "I wouldn't expect anything else." I think she understands because I think she's a researcher too. She doesn't discourage me one bit, but my former T wasn't as keen on it - I think she worried that I researched too much.

I, personally, don't believe you can ever know too much about a subject you are interested in. Because no matter how much you know, there will always be more to learn. But that's just my opinion.

> Why is it that I can know as much about a topic as I do about Psychology, and I can (maybe too easily) tell everyone else what THEY should do - but I am so very, very lost when it comes to me?

I totally understand - it's because, IMO, things like psychological treatments, theories and methods usually follow the saying "Easier said than done" to a tee. It's the reason so many therapists are in therapy! Just because they have a degree that allows them to dish out advice and guidance to their patients doesn't mean they can always apply those methods to themselves. Our view of others is usually much clearer than our view of ourselves. Because we are the only ones in our heads, and we have to add in our own emotions to the equation, which can skew things (though is sometimes helpful).

Another thing is that we are usually too hard on ourselves. Speaking for myself, I would never expect from others the kind of perfection I strive for in myself - and the fact that I am no where near attaining perfection makes me dislike myself and my efforts that much more. But I can look at the things that you are doing in therapy, the hard, good work you are doing, and Dinah's courage in trying EMDR, and GG's attaining her Ph.D. and striving to become a wonderful therapist, and KK's willingness to always ask questions and examine her motives for the choices she makes, and so on, and I can applaud all of you for those things. But I cannot, will not, give myself credit for anything that I might consider 'good' in someone else. Ever. If you do it - that's fantastic! If I do it - well, why didn't I do it sooner?

But, I must say, you are clearly a stronger person than I am, because I don't think I could deal with the 'blank slate' response from my therapist. And because it seems to me that you are working far harder in therapy than I ever have...

And I'm learning so much from you, Falls. I always do.

(((fallsfall)))

P


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Psycho-Babble Psychology | Framed

poster:Penny thread:309088
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040131/msgs/309222.html