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Re: Research » fallsfall

Posted by Dinah on February 3, 2004, at 22:23:09

In reply to Research, posted by fallsfall on February 3, 2004, at 20:58:29

I have researched extensively from day one. At first I concentrated on basic therapist techniques. Because if he was going to manipulate me, by gum I was going to understand how. In fact, just last session he applied a technique that I had read about. And he did it so beautifully that I was torn between being impressed and actually listening. I wanted to put him up for a positive reframing of intentions award.

Then I started in on trying to find out what was wrong with me. I had already done significant research when that whole schizotypal thing came up, and that sent me off on a quest to discover what was wrong with me. Including recreating the MMPI, complete with scoring protocols, on a spreadsheet.

I now think I pretty well have what's wrong with me pegged down, so I study different techniques that were designed to work with what's wrong with me.

At first it was a deep dark secret. When my husband came with me to a few sessions, I told him he could tell my therapist anything but my choice in reading materials.

But eventually it grew impossible to hide. I was able to use this board as a cover for my activities. "I read about this so I did some research." And then I started talking about ideas and therapies that he had never heard of.

So the other day, when talking about something the EMDR lady said, he said he wouldn't have used that terminology with a layperson. I was torn. On the one hand, I had been offended by the terminology. On the other - a layperson??!!!!!

I don't know that I need my therapist's approval, and he's not really forthcoming with it. He'll tell me I did good work if I'm really visibly upset and he wants to encourage me not to retreat. In other words, only if he has a purpose to do it.

My concern is that he not be angry with me. If he's not angry with me, I'm fine.

By the way, that was in our marriage ceremony. We had told the officiant a little about ourselves. And my husband and I are both people who research everything before we do it. So before we sell a house, we go buy all the house selling books and learn all about it. Apparently it struck the guy, because that was in the sermon part of the marriage. :)

 

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poster:Dinah thread:309088
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040131/msgs/309113.html