Posted by likelife on November 17, 2002, at 15:22:09
In reply to Re: feel like I'm drowning, posted by Gracie2 on November 17, 2002, at 2:48:32
Gracie,
Thank you for your wisdom. I have also been in and out of the hospital, though it's been over a year since my last admission. You're absolutely right about needing to be completely honest with my pdoc. I sometimes get myself into the situation where I will start to tell him how I'm feeling, get the feeling that he's not really understanding what I'm saying, and my words kind of trail off until I don't know what I'm saying anymore. I don't know if the problem is that I don't give him the chance to understand, or he feels too rushed in our 15 min meetings, or some other factor.
I get discouraged, because I will find a combination of meds that works for a while (even up to 18 months or so), but that gradually loses effectiveness, even at the maximum dose. I've spent the past 5 years playing around with meds, and feel defeated in times like these when the current meds don't seem to be cutting it. It's at these times that I start to ask myself what I'm doing wrong, and you're right, I start to blame treatment failure on myself.
My therapist has tried to help me reframe the situation, and to realize that while I may deal with depression for a lifetime, it doesn't have to be totally disabling, and I can find bright points within my life, if I work at it. Most times I agree with her, but my acceptance kind of waxes and wanes with my mood.
I'm still working at it though, and it's encouraging to hear that you have had success, being a "veteran" of the mental health world.
Thanks for your comments.
poster:likelife
thread:1549
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20021109/msgs/1578.html