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Re: Fear of being angry. » Eddie Sylvano

Posted by Dinah on November 4, 2002, at 9:44:35

In reply to Re: Fear of being angry. » Dinah, posted by Eddie Sylvano on November 4, 2002, at 8:43:12

Well, I always end up self injuring in response to my anger. And my therapist thinks I need to feel and express the anger appropriately in order to not self injure. And that I can start by being angry with him and seeing that it won't hurt anything. But so far I haven't been able to do it very well. Any display of anger is followed by the compulsive need to apologize and grovel.

Now the assertive calm sort of anger I express readily. If I think something is wrong, I can say so clearly. I can even really calmly express visceral anger. My husband jokes that I say "I am enraged" in a totally calm, flat voice. But as much as he jokes about it, he never remembers that when I say that I mean it. Sigh.

My parents were the angry yelling sort, and I used to be able to yell with the best of them. But there was such a lack of love, caring, and connection in that household. I just don't want to cut off the few connections I still have.

 

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