Posted by Lorelai on October 8, 2002, at 22:59:22
In reply to Re: Disassociative Disorder/Alter Egos » Lorelai, posted by terramiller on October 8, 2002, at 22:43:31
> hi. i keep trying to post and have no idea what to say. sorry. i read a really helpful article, but i can't remember where i read it. i know i gave my therapist a copy of it, so maybe he'll know. the point was the mpd isn't what people always thought it was and that for the majority of people, it doesn't present like personality A and personality B set in stone kind of thing..... well, anyway, when i can pull my thoughts together i'll try this again.
>
> other random thoughts: you are you and alice is you, but it's normal for alice to feel like alice. that's when it just takes time, especially when alice has alice's own opinions. also, if alice helps out then alice is cool and will continue to be alice until she's not needed anymore/you are able to do what she does and then you and alice will just be you... but an incredibly wellrounded you. and... it's normal not to want to tell anybody, or to feel like you're crazy, or that you want to hide, or that you are the only one. that's totally normal. it's amazing how the support comes out once you talk, which is very cool.
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> take care, terraThanks, terra. I appreciate that you took the time to post. I just happened to be up late and caught this post right away! I saw my new therapist on Monday and she was very reassuring. I told her I was feeling booted by my old pdoc, even though the old one had told me she was still wanting to see me to check on my progress. Once I got that resentment out of the way and into the open, things started to feel a lot better. I'm just having such a weird time lately, wondering how much to actually tell people (like my best friend, who is extremely understanding. I worry I'll drive her away, though deep down I know nothing could make that happen. Still, abandonment is a very real concern of mine, I guess). My parents are in their 70's and I have hinted about things to them recently, but have never gone into much detail. They realize I'm in therapy, know I have some pretty bad problems, but I don't feel comfortable letting them in on things that have gone on with me since I was a child. I know this is going to sound strange maybe, but I've always felt that there are just some problems I couldn't share with anyone. Not my best friend, not any of my husbands (ex, I mean). No one. The only reason all this has come to light is because I nearly ruined yet another longterm relationship and this time I just suddenly realized I didn't want to go through another heartbreak. I finally trusted someone enough to tell him and things have progressed from there. There are times when I feel resentful of the whole therapy process, the meds, all of it, but then I stop and think that I need to do this for myself, for my kids and for the man in my life. Wow, said another mouthful. Whew! Thanks to all who posted and thanks again, Terra, for your kind words.
Best,
Lorelai
poster:Lorelai
thread:1196
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20020829/msgs/1258.html