Posted by kara lynne on September 14, 2003, at 18:43:40
In reply to Don't Call! Or Do....Perhaps..... » kara lynne, posted by Susan J on September 14, 2003, at 17:20:57
Thank you so much for writing such a thoughtful reply. It means a lot to know that someone understands.
I do think it's in my best interest *not* to call right now. Every time I talk to him I feel worse than before. I have gone through a lot to get to this point, and I don't want to sabatoge my 'recovery'.
Oh God. I wrote him an email a few days ago detailing why I couldn't just get together with him casually because he'd been leaving messages. I don't know what his intentions were, but they were just light messages saying he wanted to take me to dinner. Just as I was writing this I got his reply. I'm still shaking from it and feel like I've been all ripped open again. He said from my letter and talking to his therapist he sees that it is 'highly unrealistic' for him to think that we could ever get back together, just like it was highly unrealistic in the past. For us ever to get over our anger and work things out. I did write him back and say that that was the source of my pain; if he had ever put his energy into making things better when we were together it would not have been highly unrealistic.
But he has never even really tried. Up until today his apologies have been riddled with resentment. Today he did say that he was sorry for causing me pain.
I guess I shouldn't have emailed him back, but I'm just at a loss.
Thanks again Susan.