Posted by ChicagoKat on January 20, 2013, at 12:57:11
In reply to Re: Is there a limit? *trigger* » ChicagoKat, posted by tensor on January 19, 2013, at 3:05:39
> >tensor, I will say you bring up some interesting questions. But just fyi, many, many of us have been severely depressed for not just a couple of years, but for *decades* Sure, some moments when one drug or another kicks in and helps for a while...but then they always poop out on you. Given this info, you will probably find that most on this board believe there should be no limit as to which class of med is used b/c they have literally tried every other drug or therapy that's out there and are still in pain.
> I hope that's not in store for you, it makes for one hard life, that's for sure. Hopefully your dip will be short and you can have the productive life you want. I would not wish the severe, decades-long, treatment-resistant depression that I and many others here have on my worst enemy. Good luck to you. Oh, and Breaking Bad was an excellent show.
>
> Hi Kat!
> Unfortunately I have treatment-resistant/refractory depression that is recurring and been suffering from this all my life, and been medicating for the last sixteen years. Conventional ADs does not help anymore. I'm a firm believer that pure biological depressions exist as the episodes suddenly come out of nowhere. I know I had episodes in my childhood where I was tired and not up to par with other children and I didn't eat enough. I also remember I had panic attacks when I was as young as six-seven years old, can you imagine how terrified I was?
> I didn't dare tell anyone either because I was afraid something was wrong with (weird logic, I know) me. Sometimes I wonder what they would have done if I had told about it.
>
> >oh and one addendum...I don't think most people who suffer severe depression consider themselves couch potatoes. that implies laziness. I can't speak for anyone else here, but I consider myself a warrior who fights bravely through each and every day, despite the fact that it can often seem that the odds are insurmountable. Recently, when I was on a wash prior to Nardil, I told my husband that if it didn't work it was gonna be either suicide or heroin addiction for me. Well it didn't work. Thankfully I'm still alive and heroin-free. I do take Ritalin, and it helps a bit, but it's up and down. Sometimes, like tonight, I just feel so desperate for something that would truly offer me complete relief. Sigh
> Kat
>
> I wasn't implying laziness, but the couch is where I end up if the depression becomes severe enough. It makes me sad to hear your story and I know how it hurts. Are you on Nardil now?
> Depression/anxiety are not like other diseases, they simply do not have the same 'status' in other (healthy) people's eyes as diseases that are visible, may it be to the naked eye or to x-ray. This makes it even harder to be on sick leave, I get these feelings of guilt and that some people just think I'm lazy or 'weak'.
> Sometimes I feel like going to work and put my meds on a table and dare anyone to take them at the doses I do and ask them if they think I'm taking them for fun.
>
> /tensorHi Tensor!
Sorry to imply you did not understand what trd is. Sounds like you're fighting justs as hard as most of us are. I do hope you find a great, workable solution.
When I'm really, really down, I end up in bed, hiding from the world. Can't even tolerate TV. Nope, Nardil helped until I started suffering falls from it. Later tried Parnate which gave me Rhabdomyolysis and nearly killed me.
For now, I'm sticking with Ritalin, and it's new anti-anxiety, mood-stabilizing sidekick Tegretol until they come out with something NEW and that really WORKS and doesnt KILL people.
Oh, and do I know about the stigma that is alive and well. Even within my own family. I've been in the hospital lately for a lot of various physical ailments (everything hit at once!) and I could not BELIEVE the outpouring of sympathy, compassion and love I got from my family during that time. I've never received even a small fraction of that support from my own loving family when it comes to my emotional pain. Which is much, much worse, in my opinion. I've learned the hard way to look for support from other depressives, from those people who GET IT. Thank God for Babble.
Kat
Ive got a really bad disease
Its got me begging on my hands and knees
So take me to emergency
Cause somethin seems to be missing
Somebody take the pain away
Its like an ulcer bleeding in my brain
poster:ChicagoKat
thread:1035749
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20130112/msgs/1035870.html